24 Feb Choose ease for yourself in a way that fits your situation
My theme word for 2021 is EASE. I’m determined to get better at providing myself with a sense of internal ease, the way I would do for others. The irony of me needing to work so hard at providing ease for myself is not lost on me. I constantly ‘forget’ my theme word and have to be quite deliberate about reminding myself.
And of course, these reminders need to come without guilt or shame because otherwise, it would be a bit pointless.
Right now, at this very point in my life, I’m juggling so many things. There are a few balls in the air and they’re big ones. Like moving into a home, finding a different school for my boys, the future of my business, completing my thesis etc. Right now, the one at the very top of that list is moving to a new house.
There is A LOT of packing to be done.
This morning, I set out to drop the boys at school and then head straight to our current apartment (which is on the market as we’re trying to sell it) to pack up a few things. Plan B was to sit at our apartment and work. Plan C is to return home and work. You can see that I’m quite intense like that.
There’s always a Plan A, B and C brewing in my mind. Like always!
After dropping the boys, I thought to myself that I could do with a nice relaxing morning. The thought had barely appeared when the guilt and shame washed over me.
How dare I relax when I needed to work harder? How dare I relax when there are things to be done in preparation for the move, etc.? I decided to fight the urge to lock myself in front of my laptop. Instead, I’d use the time to be by myself and just relax.
Just like that, I started driving. I have learnt to trust my intuition at a time like that. I just drive. And I trust that I’ll know where and when to stop. Eventually, I stopped at a lovely coffee shop that had the most amazing water feature. Opposite the coffee shop, I had a view of the harbour and the ocean. Kalk Bay beach has a very special place in my heart as I have lovely family memories there.
My goodness, the sound of water whilst looking up to see the ocean was next-level-magic.
We had glorious weather in Cape Town today. The ocean was flat and almost completely calm and the sunlight was glistening so beautifully on the water. I was looking at ease right there. Don’t you love how nature constantly gives us these insane life lessons?
My worries, fears and nagging to-do lists disappeared like melting butter. I was overcome with a sense of blissful calm.
Looking back, I’m very proud of myself. I’m proud of myself for prioritising what my soul needed today. I’ve enjoyed breakfast in this blissful way. Although the guilt continued to reappear, I reminded myself to take deep breaths and “be in the moment”. And I smiled because I realised that at that moment, I was DOING ease. I was internalizing it, and it felt so good.
The deep breathing nourished my body, the calm was so good for my busy mind, and the peace was what my soul was craving. I freed my mind to dance a little, much like the sunlight dancing on the water, and my soul was relishing in the joy and love I felt at that moment.
As I reflected, I was struck by a parting thought that ease is both a choice we need to make and a commitment we need to stick to.
I encourage you to choose ease for yourself in a way that fits your situation.
I did. And it was absolutely glorious.